Academic Success

I went to London and it was shit,

Was told ‘it’ll be great’, that ‘this’ll be it.’

Got my 2:i, a creative job that was ‘fun’,

And went – but I didn’t like it, not even a bit.


I only hung out with my friends from home.

Three of us, making house and feeling alone,

We’d find ‘cool stuff’ to try – rooftop bowls! A fake beach!

Then drink the pain away with blue WKD and Patron


That some arsehole had brought to your last house party –

A twat disguising themselves as quirky and arty.

Don’t worry mate, don’t need to know your name.

I’m just not into this. I know. It’s a shame.


I can’t even talk about the rent or the dates.

It’s too hard! The pain in my poor heart’s too great!

I’d moan to mum, ‘come home, there’s a thought’ –

Until she got through. Perhaps I ought.


So I’m off to a new job – not glam, but less pain. Packed up;

Like Clark Cable in Gone with the Wind (thanks degree!), I wave from the train.

Smile on, breathe deep, sit down, no regrets –

Here I am, back home with Mum in Smallshaw Lane.

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